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Just had a candidate's mom call me to negotiate his offer.
❝I'm not even kidding. We just sent out an offer for a junior dev role. A pretty good offer, right at the top of the band we discussed. An hour later, I get a call from an unknown number. It's the candidate's mother.❞
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❝She tells me she's 'handling his business affairs' and that the base salary needs to be 15k higher and he needs an extra week of vacation. I was so stunned I just kinda sat there for a second. I politely told her I could only discuss the offer with the candidate himself.
She wasn't happy. Said I was being difficult and that she was just trying to 'advocate' for her son. This is for a 24-year-old man. Is this a new thing? I've been doing this for 8 years and this is a first for me.
I find it hilarious really.❞
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Not calling to congratulate her son. Not calling because there was some emergency. Calling to negotiate. Apparently, she informed the recruiter that she was "handling his business affairs" and proceeded to request an additional $15,000 in salary along with an extra week of vacation time. For her 24-year-old son.
Now, to be fair, parents spend years advocating for their children. School meetings. Sports teams. Doctors' appointments. The habit doesn't disappear overnight. But at some point, most people reach an age where "my mom called my potential employer" stops sounding helpful and starts sounding like the opening scene of a workplace comedy. The recruiter handled it exactly as most professionals would. He politely explained that he could only discuss the offer with the candidate himself. A completely reasonable response. In fact, probably the only response. That's when things allegedly got even stranger.
The mother reportedly became frustrated and accused the recruiter of being difficult, insisting she was simply advocating for her son. The internet, unsurprisingly, had a field day with the story. Most commenters immediately started imagining what happened next. Did the candidate know this call was happening? Was he sitting at home mortified while his mother launched contract negotiations on his behalf? Or was this a coordinated operation years in the making? Nobody knows.
What people did agree on, however, is that the recruiter may have accidentally witnessed one of the clearest examples of helicopter parenting ever documented. Because while asking for more money is perfectly normal, having your mother do it for you at age 24 tends to raise questions. Mostly questions about who would be showing up to the performance review.
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Mom crossing next level ! Modern mommy controling issues.
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I believe in parental support but that is crossing the boundaries of professionalism. Either he put her up to it or he is mortified she took control like a narcissist mother.
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I’d imagine he’s trying to get a job to get away from her.
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I had someone bring their mom to an interview once. I'm not sure if that was for support, or she drove him and she was just waiting in the lobby. Did hire the guy, but I also had a good laugh.
I wonder - what would you have done if someone else (not family) had made that call?
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I would check with the candidate first, big chance that he was not even aware of his mother doing this and is mortified by it.
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It sounds like the beginning of a dirty joke. Too crazy to be real. Poor guy. Can't you imagine growing up with that mother? I pity him. 🙏
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If you think the candidate is worth hiring, I wouldn’t rescind the offer just yet. Contact the candidate, mention to him that his mother contacted him. Let him know that the offer is still on the table (assuming it is), but also let him know that the conversation has you rethinking the offer (if that is true) or just mention that this is such an awkward situation that it could result in a manager just moving to the next candidate. People just don’t like drama.
Also, he’s 24. Yes full grown adult, but he’ll still very young. Ask him if he still wants the job and let him know his mother needs to get out.
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I feel bad for this guy. Could you imagine growing up with her?
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Generally it's not your call who they set as advocate. So they need to show proof of empowerment. Not sure why you think compensation and leave are hilarious, maybe your not fit to negotiate.
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This is the most asian parenting there is lol.
It's what you get with a helicopter mom who thinks her kids are to be managed.. it's her money afterall, not the kid's lol.
Best part, he probably doesn't even know and the mom got the number by checking his phone or something. Definitely never asked him.
Dude is having it a lot worse than you think at home and his whole time growing up.
This is super common here where I'm from, as long as you're under their roof.. no privacy or agency until you manage to leave.
Ignore that call and let the kid choose if you did plan to move forward with him.
If you didn't plan to, still blame the mom so maybe next time she stays out of it.
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A million years ago, my dad was looking for work. He landed himself an interview for a laborer position. But he didn't speak English well enough. So he dragged me out of school to translate for him, at the interview. Growing up in an immigrant family, playing translator is common. Anytime my parents had to deal with other people, I get to do the translation. And I was too young to understand the ridiculousness of the situation at the time. Needless to say, he didn't get the job.
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Pass on the candidate. There are others out there that can do the job without their momma tagging along.
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He may not even know she called. But this warrants a discussion and possibly a withdrawal of the offer
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Good Lord! Listen, I have a young adult son who is on on the spectrum. Very bright, but a bit of an awkward penguin. I will network on his behalf, but it is up to him to do everything from interviewing to negotiating his own compensation. It does no favours to a kid for the parent to step in this way.
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taking helicopter parent to a new level.
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OMG just rescind the offer. Do you really want a piece of this going forward? What does this say about the candidate's character?
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Is she going to sit in on his 1:1s too? Or his review. He just showed he is too immature for the role. His behavior, giving mommy your number, demonstrates his inability to work independently. It would be an instant withdrawal of the offer from me.
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That would make me seriously reconsider the offer, and I would tell her so. Then tell her to have her son call me immediately. I would tell him that if she continues to try and interfere in our professional relationship, we're going to have a problem, and he needs to get it under control. We are not a sports team and she is not his agent.
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Rescind the offer. This is a glimpse of what his future at the company will be.
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Doubt he even knows what his mom did
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